Rant Mode: Activate.
First off, I need to point out the fact that Joel Sherman was right about something:
Please let’s not begin another round of Joba to the eighth inning talk after the eighth-inning meltdown Thursday night by the Yanks in Fenway. Unless you have a machine to clone Chamberlain.
Because in case you hadn’t noticed, Chamberlain currently is the Yanks’ second best starter. And nobody trades in their No. 2 starter to become a set-up man. You want to get back to me when (and if) A.J. Burnett ever starts pitching like an $82.5 million man or Chien-Ming Wang starts pitching like a major leaguer then maybe – maybe – we can have a conversation.
Now that that’s out of the way, I just want to say “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.”
Here’s how to fix this:
- Put Hughes back in the rotation.
- Trade for Tony Pena Jr. Put him in the bullpen.
- Build an altar at home plate. Sacrifice Wang to the Baseball Gods.
- Ban bunting by everyone who sucks less than Brett Gardner.
- Soak Damon’s glove in pine tar.
- Put the entire team on a diet of protein and steroids. If the entire roster gets caught it can be spun to look like some kind of conspiracy.
- Threaten to have Burnett killed if he doesn’t start earning his checks. If he’s dead, the team doesn’t have to honor his contract.
- Dispose of Berroa and Veras. Doesn’t matter how.
And, most importantly:
- Stop saving Mo for the 9th inning. It is a complete waste of the team’s best pitcher, and it’s fucking stupid. (And shut up about six-out saves. If Mo can get past Youkilis/Bay/Lowell, any no-talent piece of shit should be able to retire Shrek/Vagitek/Baldelli. Except maybe Veras.)
Discuss on twitter. I actually check that.